Trying to control things that are outside of your influence is a 100 percent guarantee for unhappiness
Are you like me, and you can get hung up on things (and people!!) that aren’t running the way you want them to, and that you can’t control?
What happens, how do you react, when you can’t control something (or somebody)?
Feeling safe in our environment, physically, mentally and emotionally is one of our basic needs, and once it gets taken away our instincts make us do something in order to re-establish that safety. If we were lacking that sense of safety over long periods in our childhood, it’s very likely we didn’t have the means to do what needed to be done in order to regain that safety, simply because walking away from the situation or taking measures to bring about changes to the situation wasn’t an option to us, because we were fully dependent on the very person(s) that put us in the situation of lacking safety.
Trying to overly control things and people in our environment may well be an unconscious trauma response from this time in our childhood, because back then our very survival was threatened by the lack of safety and the inability to control the situation we were in.
Yet, even today, the feeling of lack of safety and control remain, simply because there’s countless situations where we do not have control and there’s no way to get in control. It’s very likely that each time this occurs, we feel the exact same way we felt when we were that child: trapped, threatened, as if facing immanent death.
Uncovering what happened back then, integrating the parts that are still stuck in that event and healing from this trauma will be an core part on your way to finding peace within yourself.
Don’t allow those shadows to reign over how you feel in your life. We can’t undo the past – but we can choose what we want to take with us into our future
If you feel stuck in this process or in another part of doing the work – reach out and get yourself help.
Love, Julia